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Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Testimony

My life has taken me through hell and floods of water. My third brother was born in September 1946. The doctor told my mother if she had another child she would probably die, so he cut and buried her tubes during the caesarian. Fifteen months later I was born. The doctor told her the tube grew back. All my life I heard my mother say, “If I didn’t have Carol I wouldn’t have the problems…” I grew up knowing I was not wanted, and believing I was the reason my mother was always sick and in the hospital. I was driving to work one day when I was 30, and God told me I was not a mistake, I was a miracle. I had to pull over because the light had become so bright and God’s glory fell on me.

My life has been full of accidents, injuries, and illnesses from the day I was born. My hospital files are enormous. I never fit into my mother’s plans for me, and had it not been for my father… He explained that most folks did not love like us, or have our compassion. I felt people’s pain.

I don’t know when I met Jesus, but as long as I can remember, He has always been there for me through every situation. I was baptized when I was 12. I went through childhood not understanding how people could be so cruel. Like most folks, who are called and love Jesus, I have many, many stories. At one point, in my twenties, I fell on the floor and cried out to God, “If this is all there is, I don’t want it. If only someone, (other than my father), could only love me as much and as hard as I love.

God sent me my husband and I thought here he is, finally! He is much like my father, and could love and hurt me just like my father. My husband started listening to Kenneth Copeland on the radio after we moved to Kansas. I went to California to see my brother and to attend a Kenneth Copeland convention. Kenneth said, “God is looking down on the earth saying, ‘If only I could find someone to love me as much as I love them”. I had the answer and from that very moment, I knew there was more to life than what I had experienced, and sought after Jesus like never before.

I found a church, and after many years of giving my all, the pastor starting doing all the things he vowed never to do and the church, with its six locations, fell hard, and I could no longer be involved.

God gave me a wonderful job at an advertising agency and I fell to pride. On October 31, 1995 while waiting at a light a woman ran into the back of my car, then a man ran into her, and both cars hit me again. I had a mild traumatic brain injury resulting in blurred or double vision, short-term memory loss, floaters in my eyes, extreme sensitivity to sound and light, and excruciating ringing in my ears and headaches. I could not remember from day to day what I heard or saw. It was very hard on my family. God showed me what it was like not to have His hand on me. It was the 16th of the 18 car accidents in my life.

Long story short, I not only lived in great pain, but had open-heart surgery with 6 bypasses and artery transplant, another accident, lost my mother, almost lost my husband, my daughter in terrible trouble, and I lost my closest brother. We went through eight years of bleak poverty, living in a cave, lost two good incomes and both became disabled, within 6 months, but if not for God…

On my birthday in December of 2005, my eldest daughter sent me an email that said God has confirmed the end of Your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered You. He has taken away the hardships and given You JOY. He will never let you down.

In March 2006, God gave me this, I walk in authority; I walk with a divine spirit. I walk in divinity, and I am covered. Your Spirit Lord is going to work through me because I have submitted my life to You. I will be still and quiet my soul, and rise up in the realm of the Spirit, so You will push back the fog of obscurity. I trust You to bring forth light in the darkness and give clarity to the issues that bring confusion and indecision. I ask You to give me wisdom. I will move forward in the assurance that You have begun a good work in me, and will bring it to perfection and completion.

In May 2006, I went to a seminar at a good friend's church and she paid for my registration, featuring Prophetess Norvice Sellers. After speaking for just a few minutes, she said yes to Jesus, stopped speaking, and called me to the front of the church. She told me Jesus knows me, and all the years of trials and tribulations were over. I could go home and write paid in full on all my bills, and the secret fear I had that night would never happen. She was right on all accounts. The next day she called me out again, told me Jesus had more for me that I could not receive the night before, and the spirit fell on me like never before.

I have learned that I was created to worship, praise, give God & Jesus all the glory they deserve, and give all my cares to Jesus. As the word says, everything DOES work out for my good. No matter what the circumstance, Jesus knows how to handle it so much better than all we could ask or think.